party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
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seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
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Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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