Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
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