Midget sex pt 2 tonight
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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