Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
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Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
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My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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