I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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