I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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