WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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