you're like a bully in the Christmas story
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
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We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
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Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.