even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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