Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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