Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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