When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
