lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
