am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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