She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
third nipple confirmed
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize