Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
