I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
