she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
