think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize