I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
