its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
