No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
