The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
