Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
