community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
