What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
