Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
accomplished twins. life is a go
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
