ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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