Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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