his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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