So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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