and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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