I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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