Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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