i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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