I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
