so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
