how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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