i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
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On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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