We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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