Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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