So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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