you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
