I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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