There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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