Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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