I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
