can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
