We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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