We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
