i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize