Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
