let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
