omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
