youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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