And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
