before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize