and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
