Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
